The other day as I was walking into church, a woman ahead of me was being greeted at the door. When one of the male greeters extended his hand, she scoffed playfully and replied, "I don't want any of that handshake stuff!" and went in for the hug. Granted, she already knew the guy in question; but I was blessed to have a similar experience with a woman I didn't know at the previous church I was going to a few years ago.
  A mutual friend introduced us and she said to me right away, "I'm a hugger and not much into handshakes, do you mind if I give you a hug instead?" Well of course I didn't mind...I mean, after all, she was speaking my language! It wasn't the gesture so much that provided the blessing for me, but the idea that this woman (in her late 40's-early 50's I would guess) had the trust to open her heart in such a manner!
  Many in the body of Christ today are so insular–and to an extent, distrustful–that they consider it an affront or even a threat when confronted with such an idea. When someone approaches them with such openness, they get at best offended and at worst afraid. From my observations, this occurs mainly in women, but I have seen a few guys get cantankerous about people showing them any type of affection as well.
  So why is this exactly? Obviously, people's reasons for this can be as different as grains of sand; but I have some theoretical common threads that might provide at least a foundation of insight:

For Men:

  They've experienced pain and don't want to risk opening themselves anew. I understand this feeling to an extent, as I've walked through a similar valley. Back when our family raised sheep, one of the first orders of business during the time of year when lambs were being born was to do away with their tails, to prevent the animals from continually soiling themselves and potentially contracting diseases. The way that's done is to put a small, thick rubber band around the base of the tail. It cuts off the blood flow, and eventually the tail dies and falls away as a result.
  In a somewhat similar fashion, when a person cuts themselves off from whatever communities are most accesible in their lives, this increases the numbness within them to a point that a large piece of their heart becomess potentially unrecoverable.
  They're angry at women or perhaps the world at large. A rejection here, some emasculation there, a lack of success elsewhere...so many of life's darts can become poisonous to a person's soul and outlook. Such a state is easy to succumb to when you've been kicked around like a dog but I've learned, over many years, to go against your own grain and just let yourself be exposed. If others cannot extend the proper consideration for that, they're the only ones on whom it reflects poorly.

For Women:

  They feel intimidated in such close proximity to another. It's possible other women might make them feel this way, but more often than not it's men that trigger this. This can be elicited by their superior physical strength; combine that with a dolt that pushes some boundary further than what's allowable, and you create an experience that cripples that woman's ability to experience a true familial bond with her fellow believers, apart from the healing intervention of God. I would love to say this doesn't or couldn't happen within the community of faith. Sadly, that would be a fantasy.
  Such contact is perceived as a threat to their significant relationships. The pinnacle of many women's (and some men's) lives is the achievement of marriage and family. There are tons of women in the church that will limit contact with a member of the opposite sex to a handshake, because of the fear that a hug would somehow be akin to cheating on their husbands, or at the very least make them jealous.
  I find it hard to really come down on this all that much, because almost every man would kill to marry someone who strives with such diligence to guard the trust they made vows to uphold. The thing is, I don't observe this a whole lot in women with happy and successful marriages. Those women are secure in their husband's love, and more importantly in God's love, have the freedom to spread that to others around them in healthy ways, and release their husbands to do the same. Couples like these truly radiate Christ, and I seek to be around them as often as I can to learn and prepare for what I hope will be my future sooner than later!
  The women I do observe having a more closed-in nature may have faithful marriages and loving husbands, but still harbor deep insecurities. They've discovered that every day of their marriage isn't going to be like The Notebook, so they swallow their emotions, hunker down and put up the wall. Any attempts by [male]outsiders to greet them with a hug, however purely motivated, is met in the same way that one greets the black plague.
  Church, we have to get back to a more open, familial trust and love. We need more hugging! Or, perhaps fist bumping would be a good starting point? *hehe* Shake hands if you want to close a business deal, but your brothers and sisters in Christ deserve something more personable...more real. Furthermore, if we don't even have the capacity to love with such lack of pretense amongst ourselves, how can we claim to be any more of a beacon to those we are trying to reach?
  I get that there are likely myraid pitfalls or nuances to all of this that I have either not considered, or have not wanted to triple the length of this already-too-long post considering. And let me just say, I get that there are jerks out there that don't handle such situations appropriately. My belief is that those types can be ferreted out very quickly and given the reproof they have coming. Feel free to sound off below if you wish, because I believe this to be a conversation worth having.