Of what shall a man be proud, if he is not proud of his friends?
        - Robert Louis Stevenson

  The numbers that were being thrown at me by the travel agent I simply could not believe. You want me to pay $899 just to fly to Hawaii? How insane! I then had the agent work up a Florida trip. The round-trip flight was about half the earlier amount, but with a total vacation price of $1200, still one that left me skeptical and completely without peace. To top it all off, I had started way late and last minute in trying to plan something like this; you need at least a month or more to put together a decent itinerary! I took a printout of the estimate and said I'd mull it over, knowing that instead I was going to check online services for a better rate. Let's rewind now to two weeks earlier:

 Nate the Carnivore and I were munching on cheap-yet-tasty pizza buffet. He asks me how old I'm going to be and I tell him. The light came on in his eyes and above his head(metaphorically) and he says(paraphrased), "Dude, we gotta have a party!" Dear God, NO...That's the last thing I want! With much conviction, I said I "don't need no stinkin' party", I was going to be on vacation that weekend and wouldn't be available. I was a man on a mission, and it prevented me from seeing the picture that was unfolding, which I will soon explain.
  You see, I had one solid determination for the advent of Year 40: to see the ocean for the first time. In between sampling the local flavor and seeing other sights, on the fateful day itself I was going to be alone on a majestic Hawaiian beach with a cold beverage and a comfy lawn chair. It was going to be a time to look out at the waves stretching to infinity and contemplate the mortality that was becoming a much larger object in the rear-view mirror.
  My mind would be swimming in morose images of great things I had dreamed of that never materialized for one reason or another, one of the biggest being my desire for a lifetime with the girl of my dreams that God has always seemed to leave just out of reach as if in some act of divine retribution for my general suckiness as a human being. It would brood on all the failures in my wake and the people that have been affected by them, the hope invested in me that I never fulfilled, everyone I had ever hurt, how little of a difference I have made.
  I would think of my father, who desperately latches onto the smallest reasons he can find to have some pride in the son who has never lived up to his hopes, who has disappointed him time and time again. I had a vast encyclopedia of guilt, shame, and regret at the ready...and every jot and tittle was going to be read.

  Meanwhile, back to the present and at the computer...I put together the exact same Florida trip on a major travel website for a little more than half of what I had been quoted by the travel agent. At that point I decided to check out Hawaii, since that had been my first choice all along. I was able to assemble a quality round-trip flight and hotel package, for five days and four nights, that was a little over $100 more than what the travel agent had quoted me simply to fly! Excitedly, I set about the booking process.
  I got out the credit card I wanted to use and started to put in the information. I had the cash, but paying with a major credit card for things like this offers you greater protections and privileges in the event of any problems one might encounter. I came to the expiration date and saw that the card in question was expired! My blood was running a little cold as I started looking through various nooks and crannies for the updated card I had surely received in the mail. It was not to be found anywhere. By now dejected and a little angry, I abandoned my ocean plans and decided to settle on a weekend in Minneapolis.
  The next day, Nate calls me up...he just wasn't letting this party thing go! He asks me about it again; and again I declare I'm going to be out of town. "So, what day can we do this on then?" I could hear the disappointment on the other end of the line and it took me a little aback. To appease him, I agreed to the Friday before my birthday, after which time I would leave to Minneapolis to commence ocean-free, severely downgraded wallowing. He told me not to worry about a thing, that he would take care of all the arrangements.
  The moment I hung up the phone with Nate, the Spirit of God living in me immediately began to speak hard truth into my heart and mind: "Your friend loves you enough to want to throw a party for you and to celebrate you, and all you can think about is spending a bunch of money to go off somewhere far away and brood! But instead, you're going to stay put, go to the party, and it's going to be on the proper day...comprende?" Hit straight in the heart and now with something stuck in my eye, I knew He was right and set forth to obey what I had been told. I contacted Nate the next day, and with much relief and peace committed to foregoing any travel plans and making myself available the exact day of my birthday. On a lighter note, a couple days afterward I was rummaging around in my closet and lifted up some papers...and immediately saw the updated credit card I had been seeking. "Very funny, Lord!", I muttered with mild amusement.
   At first Nate wanted to leave it at Friday, but the threat of low or no turnout caused the change to Sunday, the right day, which of course was a fulfillment of what the Lord had said to me earlier. Nate made the arrangements to have everyone meet at Texas Roadhouse for food and festivities. Later we would meet back at my place to sit around the fire and shoot the breeze for awhile, then watch a movie to wrap things up.
   I have church in the evening and that night it went a little long, so I arrived a few minutes late. Even now as I write this, it chokes me up a little recalling the sight that awaited me when I entered the building. I had contemplated the possibility beforehand, but actually seeing it brought it all home to me. At this time, on this night, this was my ocean:

  Pictured above is an ocean of destiny nearly two decades in the making, the one that God had lovingly thwarted my attempts to make vacation plans elsewhere to show me. There were other guys present that aren't in the photo, and all assembled covered virtually every corner of my adult life. He wanted me to bear witness to an ocean of steadfast, loyal friends; strong warriors of faith who have, without even knowing it, shown me what followers of Christ Jesus are supposed to "taste" like. Many of these precious brothers have stood shoulder to shoulder with me in the darkest hours of my life. Heck, a couple of them have even helped me move! :-p
  Nearly everything I have come to know about being a Christian, a friend, and a man, I have mostly learned from them, in ways I never had access to in my formative years. The fact they gave of their time to come and honor me suggests in some way that maybe I was used of God in their lives as well. This revelation has helped me to largely put aside at least most, if not all, of the regrets and failures I have allowed myself to receive an emotional payoff of sorts from chewing on over the years. If I do think about them now, it's in the context of making things right whereever needed, with God's help and empowerment.
  My pastor in college always used to say that only two things last forever: the Word of God and people. The majesty of earthly oceans will one day pass—I still plan on seeing at least one of them sometime, albeit in a more positive framework—, but the one God showed me at Texas Roadhouse far exceeds their grandeur. It is the one I will see for eternity, and the greatest gift that Year 40 has had to offer me...that, and the gift of a second chance.

Thanks, brothers...I love you all more than words can say.