For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.
        - Job 3:25

  What I have to say about Year 40 is still in development. However, I will say that I'm not writing this from a fancy hotel room overlooking the oceanside as originally intended. At this point, the 'why' of that I somewhat know, but will take a day to manifest to the point where I can authoritatively talk about it. I'll have another post when it all goes down, at which point I'll have that Big Thing to say.
  As for right now, it's halftime and I'm in the locker room. The coach has had kind but firm words to say. It's a time for review and adjustments. In some ways I'm not where I feel I should be, in others I'm further ahead than expected.
  I struggled with what song to pick to mark the occasion for this year. In the end, I kept coming back to the one you see below because it speaks of Christ's sufficiency and faithfulness in the midst of a long journey. Also, many little elements of it make me say, "Yeah...that was me once upon a time." Other parts I wish were me and hope will be before I fade too much further out. So enjoy, and I'll see you back here real soon for a followup.

I Am
by Nichole Nordeman

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed
You watched my team win
You watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said, Elbow Healer, Superhero
Come if You can
You said, "I Am"

Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10pm?
You saw my mistakes
And watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper
Be my best friend
And you said, "I Am"

You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said forever to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2am
And when I am weak, unable to speak
Still I will call You by name
Shepherd, Savior, Pasture Maker
Hold onto my hand
You say, "I Am"

The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer

When life had begun, I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
And who can say when, but they'll dance again
When I am free and finally headed home
I will be weak, unable to speak
Still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End

I Am
Yes, I Am