Forgive me, my Lord;
I looked back in anger.
Because as much as I might want to deny it,
it sticks to me like a fungus.
And that's less than you deserve
from I who am yours.

I am feeble and utterly crushed;
I groan in anguish of heart.
All my longings lie open before you, O Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart pounds, my strength fails me;
even the light has gone from my eyes.
My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds;
my neighbors stay far away.

You look for a man who is certain
of the direction he is traveling.
The one you have given me is good.
Blessings many, borne of grace,
have accompanied it.
But this night, Egypt has beckoned me.

Those who seek my life set their traps,
those who would harm me talk of my ruin;
all day long they plot deception.
I am like a deaf man, who cannot hear,
like a mute, who cannot open his mouth;
I have become like a man who does not hear,
whose mouth can offer no reply.
I wait for you, O LORD;
you will answer, O Lord my God.

Has the path truly made me better?
Or have I simply been too sheltered
for the lingering wretch to be unmasked?
All I know is...a better heart beckons;
Am I worthy to answer?
Am I fit to reach for it?

For I said, "Do not let them gloat
or exalt themselves over me when my foot slips."
For I am about to fall,
and my pain is ever with me.
I confess my iniquity;
I am troubled by my sin.
Many are those who are my vigorous enemies;
those who hate me without reason are numerous.
Those who repay my good with evil
slander me when I pursue what is good.

Lord I looked back in anger;
but turned back around in sorrow.
The screams and tears refill my ears;
and hence I hate myself anew.
By seeking what is good,
I have sabotaged it.
Everything I touch, I disappoint!

O LORD, do not forsake me;
be not far from me, O my God.
Come quickly to help me,
O Lord my Savior.

*Quotations taken from Psalm 38: 8-22