Not too long ago, Dr. Phil was speaking to couples on his show who were trying to get pregnant but having difficulty. One woman in particular was in tears over this, saying she felt her husband was wanting to throw in the towel after various attempts. At one point, Dr. Phil said something while working to convince the beleaguered husband to give in vitro fertilization a try(he was balking at this due to the enormous cost) that stuck with me: "This defines this woman!" It made me think back to Genesis and the story of Rachel:

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Jacob became angry with her and said, "Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?" Then she said, "Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family." - Gen. 30:1-3

  Most of us, I'm sure, have experienced that one singular desire that defines us, that infiltrates the framework of who we are. No matter how we might try to quell it, it's the first thought upon awaking and the last thought before drifting off to sleep until the day it finally comes to pass. Every moment it's withheld, you die a just a little bit more. It becomes one's pearl of great price, the one thing we would sell all we have for.
  The saga of Jacob and his wives is filled to the brim with definitive desires: Jacob, for Rachel; Leah, to obtain the preferential love of her husband, like Rachel had; Rachel, to obtain children with her husband, like Leah had. The troubles that ensue in the pursuit(and in Jacob's case, the acqusition) of these desires are on one level humorous to read, but it's also easy to see how pathetic the cast of characters tends to become("Here's your stupid mandrakes, now buzz off...I'm gettin' me some action!") in their respective quests.
  Fill in the blank for yourself if you like: "Give me _____, or I'll die!" It could be family; it could be marriage, career, reconciliation, peace, prosperity, respect, significance...the list is as endless as the list of everyone that has ever wanted something in such a comprehensive, all-consuming fashion that each single moment denied is akin to slow torture. Rachel's struggle moves me the most because she was the most deeply affected. It was also a far more primal need, one that can affect the majority of childless women and should never, ever be psychoanalyzed or dismissed by any man upon pain of death!
  It unsettles me a little, though, how her dream finally came true. After Leah's done having her basketball team, Rachel finally gets a turn:

"Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, "God has taken away my disgrace." She named him Joseph, and said, "May the LORD add to me another son." - Gen. 30: 22-24

The narrative feels somewhat offhand: "Oh yeah...Rachel wanted kids too. *sigh* Guess I'd better get on that so she'll quit her crying already!" It also seems a little cruel that she had to die while having Benjamin, her second son. It's almost like she was being punished for not just shutting up and being content with having Joseph.
  Rachel's victorious statement reminds us of another human truth, that being how a defining desire, when delayed, assaults our sense of worth. The span in which we are without that most sought might be, in the eyes of some, a time of disgrace, a time to feel like a failure. But a point was being made here that took a generation to unfold.
  Joseph, the firstborn to Jacob and his beloved Rachel, would go on to be used greatly by God through a rather adventurous circle of events to rule over Egypt(as an Israelite...how poetic!) and save her from famine. The children he had with Leah and the handmaidens were complicit in faking his death and sending him away into slavery, with no idea that God would use their wickedness for his glory(and ultimately their shame).
  It was God's way of honoring the romance and turmoil that framed the fantastic love story of Jacob and Rachel, one of the most beautiful and real that God's word offers us. In order for the older to serve the younger, the older obviously had to come first, through a woman who was thrust upon Jacob through deception. Their conniving ways proved to be the apples that didn't fall far from the tree!
  As tough as it is, a desire that's truly defining is a four-star gourmet meal...and those always take more time and care to put together. Sometimes God allows us to see bits of the "cooking" process and sometimes he doesn't. Our task is to take in the times he does with appreciation, holding to the faith until(and after) the hope is fulfilled.